Confused/Infused Shrimpy Shrimp

by Naila Sheikh

To be honest, shrimp isn't my bestest of friend. I hold a love-hate relationship with these species of the sea. Love: they're fun to cook. Hate: not so gaga over the taste. The chewiness and inadequate content of meat does not satisfy my expansive appetite, but I'm all encouraging and cheery sitting on the sideline watching you inhale SHRIMP. Go for it. 


When I do happen to risk myself to enter the seafood section of the grocery store (the smell. cant help it...ok guys, yes i'm way too sensitive), I'll order freshly peeled shrimp, half a pound. The worker behind the counter sees me as a friendly lady strolling casually along the aquariums filled with living catfish staring at me for mercy. Either EAT ME or RELEASE ME! My every sense is amplified and all I want is to make a run for fresh air. *Note: the before-mentioned is NOT an exaggeration. Ask my kids.


When I do make it out alive and arrive safely in my Kitchen, trying to forget the lingering smell of deathly-piranha-looking fish - *def an exaggeration* - I am keen on removing the gory images of the day and making pleasant memories in my head with the help of music of course. 

Turn to Frank Sinatra or Kumar Sanu for creating a nostalgic mood - listen to the oldies and let's make this SHRIMP will ya!


What you need:

- Shrimp (preferably peeled)

- 1 onion, 3 straws of green onions: you can slice it thick, no need for it to be looking thin.

- 1 red & 1 green bellpepper (or the color you prefer) : slice it long and thin

- Himalayan Salt: just a pinch- Red Chilli flakes: 2 tbsp

- A tangy garlic sauce: I prefer Maggie's Chilli Garlic Sauce

- Tartar Sauce: half a cup

- Jasmine Rice - 2 cups and 1 packet of Spicy Jambalaya Rice Mix (found at seafood aisle)

- As for Masalas: I use Shan's "Achar Pickle" : 1 tbsp



Drizzle your pan with olive oil. Pour in the onion and green onions with the Achar Pickle Masala. Add the red chilli pepper flakes. Keep an eye on it until the onions turn golden brown. I like hearing it sizzle. You can go ahead and pour in some of the chilli garlic sauce.  To make it a bit more spicier, I would recommend 1 tsp of red chilli powder. 

Add your shrimp and mix well. Put a lid on medium heat. After 2 minutes, add your tartar sauce. Put the lid back on. Let the shrimp soak it all up. 

See the shrimp all happy and gooey with its fellow-ingredients? Now, burst its happy bubble by adding the bellpepper slices, cuz its veggie time! This will add much color to your culinary creation...and perhaps to your life...just sayin'.

Put the lid back on, yo.

I'd say 15-20 minutes (i really do cook the shrimp until its officially dead in my eyes) let it be on medium, be aware; the last 5 minutes requires attention:

You turn up the heat, take off the lid and start stirfrying your Shrimpy Heaven. Just like  the cooks you see at Pei Wei or Panda Express working that wok! Go with the flow. Stand steady. Do NOT move. Texts and notifications can be checked later. Your mom calling? Yes, do pick up your mamma's call. I don't want that on my conscience! Now, you gotta multi-task but you can do it...let it fry...mix! Ask your mom how she's doing. How was her day? No, don't look at me. Look at your're almost there... Mamma aint happy with you ignoring her for all these days? Dude. you gotta call her. Let her vent. It's okay. Remember, she gave birth to you and you weren't the size of shrimp, ok! 



You did it. Smile. Say "love you" and end the call. Make her happy, be there for her. You did it. We're good. All's well. 

Uhmm, by the way: don't forget to boil your jasmine rice (add 1/3 of the jambalaya rice mix to your jasmine rice before cooking the rice. This will add color and flavoring to your pretty jasmine :)






Yes. I come up with my own titles.