The Misfit

by Naila Sheikh


My belonging to you, I doubt.

My appearance for you, I've  shun.

My heart's unloved, unsure.

To this ongoing agony that life permits,

I may not be what they expect.

I have bled the mystery out of me,

tears of destiny, flowing free.

 I have tried.

Attempted.

Reasoned.

Fought.

Still, I am not.

The words, so harsh without remorse.

The gaze, a blur, like a distant force

The Universe's pull to break me apart

I ask, what's left of my heart?

Still, I am not.

Days and hours in a fleeting glimpse

Whispering walls, I can comprehend

Perhaps,

the unseen has  become my friend.

Burdens upon my soul must depart

Knowing the journey's  one single shot

Still, I am not.

Standing alone in this vastness

Thoughts play to mind,

Strangling

Belittling

Forcibly

Trickling

Hail to the Darkness within

Overcoming a faulty start.

Upon blinking the eye so bright

I thought, you might

Forget

Disregard

Fail

to understand

That, I am still.

No.

I am, still.

Still, I am.

 

I am, certainly not.